Newspaper Headlines.

All (apparently) true!


1.    Include Your Children when Baking Cookies 
2.    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 
3.    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers 
4.    Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case 
5.    Iraqi Head Seeks Arms 
6.    Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus 
7.    Prostitutes Appeal to Pope 
8.    Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over 
9.    British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
10.   Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
11.   Clinton Wins Budget, More Lies Ahead
12.   Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
13.   Miners Refuse to Work after Death
14.   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
15.   Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16.   Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
17.   War Dims Hope for Peace
18.   If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19.   Cold Wave Linked to Temperature
20.   Enfields Couple Slain, Police suspect Homicide
21.   Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
22.   Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery, Hundreds Dead
23.   Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
24.   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
25.   Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft 
26.   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks 
27.   Chef Throws His Heart into Helping FeedNeedy 
28.   Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half 
29.   New Vaccine May Contain Rabies 
30.   Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors


And some more...


36. Two convicts evade noose, jury hung 
35. Queen Mary having bottom scraped 
34. NJ judge to rule on nude beach 
33. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency 
32. Two Soviet ships collide - one dies 
31. Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter 
30. Dealers will hear car talk at noon 
29. Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy 
28. Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984 
27. Cold wave linked to temperatures 
26. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation 
25. Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing 
24. Grandmother of eight makes hole in one 
23. Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers 
22. William Kelly was fed secretary 
21. Milk drinkers are turning to powder 
20. Farmer bill dies in house 
19. Iraqi head seeks arms 
18. Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests 
17. Miners refuse to work after death 
16. If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while 
15. War dims hope for peace 
14. Child's death ruins couple's holiday 
13. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years 
12. Man is fatally slain 
11. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say 
10. Eye drops off shelf 
9. Squad helps dog bite victim 
8. Enraged cow injures farmer with ax 
7. Never withhold herpes from loved one 
6. Child's stool great for use in garden 
5. Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors 
4. Soviet virgin lands short of goal again 
3. Prostitutes appeal to Pope 
2. Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over 
1. Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better